Love(s) Me Not.

I always laughed at people
who fell in love, and
also broke up some time later.
Like love was a weapon
which could destroy the
intertwining of two hearts,
like it could be the sole reason why
you would feel empty when it left,
like it could fly away from
in between two people.
No way, the love
never goes away.
Little did I know that
the joke was on me, and
I felt like this till
a boy I loved, told me I was
all he ever needed,
told me I was his world, lured me into
his magnificent existence, and that
he would love me forever, but
I didn’t know forever
lasts so soon, and
that I was not enough,
enough to make him swoon,
he crushed my heart
in his hands, leaving me to
bleed, My whole world shook,
I tried to get up on my feet,
tripped
and fell again, everything
felt bizarre and haphazard, as if
someone had hit me in my knees.
I don’t know what
went wrong, I always
believed our love was strong.
“We’ll be best friends”, he said.
How could I tell him that
unlike other things, life
does not come
with an undo button.
And if it did, there would be
no past, present or future.
Just us making the same
mistakes, over
and over. And that this
path to friendship
is now slightly rotten.
That when I chose him, I
forgot the whole world altogether.
That his eyes made me
want to kiss him, and the
touch of his lips on my skin,
made me miss him. When he
is around, the flowers in my
secret garden bloom, and
when he leaves
its feels like the night
without her moon, that
I was ready to dive into
the depths of his heart, or
ready to fall in some void
with a home to call
only ours. I wish
I could make him see, how
happy we could be, if
only he hadn’t been so stubborn,
to let go of his rules.
“We can’t be together”, he said,
pushing me in a puddle of gloom.
I tried to make him see, that
Life itself is a huge maze, and
that falling in this trap wouldn’t
have made him a slave. However
he was being a slave of
his own drama, and now
because of this, my life
is no less than a trauma. Whenever,
His name flashes on my phone, I
can feel my heart shattering
for the millionth time, as I
have got nothing to
say, except just whine.
My mind has drifted into pieces, and
I cannot think as whole.

I told you that
you were the only person
who could get me, whom I
would love to call mine, I told
you I would stay, to
always make you smile. You
had other plans, I
said I don’t mind. But
you’re kind of stepping on my heart, and
your shoes are all sharp,
leaving deep scars, which
is not at all fine.
I wait for you
to say something,
something which will make
me stay, but it’s been
years, and the foundation, now
has been frayed. But I do
have a question in
my mind, I want to stop
myself from asking, But then
I thought in my fragmented
space, What would I
get in life to be
so scared, to fear my
own self in a world
where anybody hardly cares, I can
hear shards of glass rattle in
my broken heart as I go
ahead and ask,

“When two people decide
to leave each other, where
does the love go?”

And that’s when I realised,
it’s not a joke anymore.

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